Memorable Bali Attractions…

During our two week Bali escape, my German friends and I didn't choose to venture too far from the stunning Seminyak surf beach, however we did tear ourselves away a few times, having felt we really ought to make an effort to see a little more of this intriguing island … and we were glad we did.

My new friend, Putu, arranged a lovely friend/driver, who picked us up early one beautiful morning. Ketut (the second lovely Ketut we had the pleasure of meeting), was friendly and fun, and although verbal communication between us was challenging, our creative arm and leg gestures, plus facial expressions, spoke volumes, causing an abundance of laughter. While we were on the road, Ketut tried to teach us words he thought we were conveying to him in English, although I'm not sure that was always the case! We visited many interesting venues, while he patiently waited outside for our return to the car parks. The weather proved, yet again, to be sunny and warm, and our introductory, inland stop was a Batik outlet, where we purchased our first item for the day. We were shown the Batik Art process from start to end, and the assorted finished products, from clothing to curtains, bags to pictures, were all extremely detailed, bright, colorful and impressive, demonstrated by some very talented and naturally gifted Balinese.

We visited the Seribatu Village Coffee Plantation where we not only tasted the famous Luwak coffee, but also met the luwaks themselves, which to me looked similar to Australian possums. I'm not sure how pleased they were to meet us though, as they're nocturnal animals! The plantation was set amongst beautiful, picturesque, lush surroundings, offering a healthy, peaceful ambience. I admired the young, Balinese girl, who passionately and informatively gave us a spiel about Luwak Coffee and its origin soon after we entered the grounds. I'm quite sure she and her young colleagues treat each group, which sets foot onto the estate, to the exact same, repetitive speech. It was an interesting experience, and the Luwak coffee was quite tasty too.

Moving on, we arrived in Ubud, known as Bali's cultural heart, situated in the mountains where the temperature was a little cooler, yet still comfortably warm. I remember the word 'Ubud' was another reason for laughter between Ketut and us. My friend, Susi, would purposefully accentuate the first 'U' and it sounded ridiculous, especially to Ketut's ears. Laughing, he would correct her each time, not realising she was joking. It was hilarious to watch!

The inland town of Ubud, was mysteriously, exactly how I had imagined. A beautiful, country strip of road lined with quaint, little cafes and various shops, marketing hand crafts, jewellery, leather, assorted clothing and much more. The terrace cafes on one side of the road provided spectacular views onto the large, descending rice fields, which offered many and varied walkways up, down and around the plantation. It was truly beautiful, green and vibrant, and an extraordinary sight to see. Two of us ventured down the, sometimes quite challenging, pathways, taking many photos of the declining rice paddocks and wetlands. Every now and again we would be surprised by older, half naked, native women, aggressively begging for money. That wasn't very pleasant and we sadly wondered whether these women resided amongst the rice fields, as we had come across what we perceived to be a homeless person's squat. We also encountered numerous primary school aged children, with pained looks on their faces, who ran to us selling packets of beautiful post cards of the area, pleading, 'For my school, for my school!' Whether it was true or not, as they all seemed so rehearsed, I had to buy a set.

From Ubud we headed towards Tampak Siring to explore the Tirta Empul Temple, which is a very religious site for Hindu worshippers, who bathe there in the purifying Holy Springs. It was very busy with tourists from all over the world and many tourist buses were parked in the car park amongst the cars. To enter the temple grounds we were given a serong to wear, which we were asked to return upon leaving. Mine was beautiful and such a pleasure to be wrapped in. Although tourists are allowed to bathe in the Holy Springs, we declined, as it was just too crowded for our liking. We did however, stroll through the grounds and admired the temple and surrounds. It was amazing and I giggled to myself as I happened to spot the tail of a small, ginger cat curled up high in one of the statue's arms, sleeping peacefully and minding its own business! As we left to find Ketut in the car park, a Balinese woman approached selling small bananas. We hadn't eaten since breakfast, so I bought a bunch to share, paying the woman enough to happily surprise her. Those bananas were the sweetest, most delicious I'd ever eaten.

During our travels and in between the popular tourist attractions, Ketut also showed us a silver wholesale plant, lined with various, gorgeous silver jewellery from floor to ceiling. Gifted Balinese artists, with controlled, elegant hands, patiently crafted the articulate pieces on the premises. Needless to say, we purchased a few lovely presents to take home.

Susi sought a traditional Balinese painting she planned to have framed back home, to hang over her bed. Ketut knew just the place to take her, which I felt was an art studio/gallery owned by his friends. These lovely people welcomed us with open arms and while Susi was busy studying the artwork, I conversed with Ketut and the hospitable family, as best I could, to learn more about their lifestyle. Unfortunately, as Susi was searching for a particular art piece, this visit was purely social and to admire the intricate work. Obviously the artists were keen to sell, and most likely disappointed, yet they were still so obliging, even opening our car doors for us as we departed. Days later, Susi did however, stumble across just the painting she wanted while browsing through a large, lively market. We all excitedly found an unforeseen treasure there.

Another day we decided to head to Kuta on the hotel transit taxi bus, which dropped us off at a certain corner to be picked up there again four hours later. We weren't too enthusiastic about Kuta, from what I had heard or read, however I really wanted to pay my respects to the 202 people killed and 209 injured during the deadliest terror attack in the history of Bali in October, 2002. We approached the striking, simple, yet elegant, monument, made of carved stone and carrying a huge marble plaque with names and nationalities of those killed, and read most were Australians. I was overwhelmingly sad standing in front of this huge memorial, and couldn't begin to imagine what chaos these people must have experienced that night. We placed some money into the donation box to assist with the maintenance and, in the stifling heat, walked the streets of Kuta for a couple of hours, solemnly and without direction until it was time to meet our return transport.

On another particular day we visited a Hindu Temple named Tanah Lot, meaning Land in the Sea. Now, that was a magical sight and although we were urged to view it during sunset, we decided to visit first thing in the morning. Ketut (number one), picked us up at sunrise, sporting a modern, new haircut, in fact I didn't recognise him at first! He bashfully disclosed his teenage son was his inspiration after I complimented him, saying he looked ten years younger.

Tanah Lot was truly magnificent. The temple itself is a rock formation situated just off the mainland. We were able to walk through the water to reach it, however access is no longer allowed up the stone stairs. It is believed a large population of poisonous sea snakes guard the area from evil spirits … and sure enough, after gifting the gods with a small money offering, we came eye to eye with a beautiful sea creature. The young man in the beach cave, playing with the snake in his hands, assured us there is no poison and ushered us to touch it. So I did, and initially all I could think was of our dangerous snakes at home and how I always try my best to protect my animals from their grip. I couldn't believe how close I was to this particular snake, and how interesting it was with its spiralling stripes. My goodness, I stroked it! After I let go of my usual anxious thoughts, it proved to be quite a calming experience. We were told by the young man some days there are five snakes to be found and some days only one. Each day is apparently a surprise.

The attractions I've shared have all been memorable experiences, however the most significant, unique and beautiful sight I witnessed during my Bali explorations, which has truly left a lasting impression, was the implementation of the Hindu ritual we saw everywhere we went, especially largely around the temple sites. Three inch by three inch containers of woven and plaited palm leaves carried gorgeous, bright flowers and greenery to match with little bits of cuisine and lit incense placed outside each active establishment daily during sunrise and sunset; often just on the footpaths and we had to watch our step! These were offerings meant to appease and please the various gods and demons. The bigger the building, the larger the offerings. It was just magical, creating so much color and warmth throughout the already heart-warming and endearing environment. Such a precious, meaningful custom. However, it seemed the Hindu Balinese and their gods weren't the only ones to benefit from these special religious contributions.

I remember lying by the hotel swimming pool one day watching an elegant, Balinese lady approach a giant tree, which stood not far from where I lay toward the end of the hotel grounds, near the entrance to the beach. This tree carried a man-made, permanent spiritual monument in its centre, purposefully built for these gifts. The woman carefully and individually picked each object from a lovely, round, cane basket, and placed it systematically onto the statue, while praying to herself. Once completed, she left to return to work. A few moments later, as I was admiring the offerings and the ancient tree, I noticed sudden movements flickering from branch to branch very quickly. It took me a few minutes to realise there were two, cheeky, little, squirrel-like animals scurrying towards the gits, balancing and jumping with the greatest of ease until they reached the monument, then sat to have a free feed, while oblivious to the noise around them! I asked a bell boy on duty what these little creatures were and I was told they are 'Tupaia', meaning small animals that resemble squirrels. They were just adorable and are mammals native to the tropical forests of South-east Asia. I'm sure they love and appreciate the daily Hindu ritual of offerings too!

So this sums up our Bali day trips, adding to our memories. During the drives to and from our desired destinations, we also saw a lot of the beautiful countryside, yet sadly also noticeably the poorer parts … but there is still so much more to see, which I look forward to visiting in the future … and there is still more to share of my magical Bali holiday, which I look forward to posting soon.

More Of The Magic Of Bali...

During my stay in the picturesque, Balinese accommodation, I encountered the delightful staff to be humble, gentle, approachable and ever so friendly; always wearing a sincere smile that lit up the surroundings. They couldn't do enough to make sure my friends and I were comfortable and had everything we needed, especially one young man, who went above and beyond his duties to assist us.

Putu was my first point of call as I arrived at the hotel, and kindly showed me to the tropical haven I was to stay in. His honest, altruistic nature was inspiring and I immensely enjoyed his company. Speaking very good English, he explained how he and many staff, employed within the Bali tourist precincts, reside in nearby boarding houses in small rooms. During days off (sometimes only one a week), they return to their individual, inland villages, which can take a few hours to reach by scooter, to visit their families, while bringing home most of their earnings. Putu plans to one day visit Australia, which is quite a detailed process to battle through, however I'm sure he will fulfil his goal. He excitedly shared, with photo in hand, of his plans to marry his beautiful girlfriend next year. I'm very happy for them both, wish them all the best and am looking forward to meeting up with Putu again during another, future trip to his welcoming island.

Although the population of Indonesia is predominantly Muslim and Christian, I read 83% of the people on Bali identify as Hindu. The Balinese strongly believe in karma inspiring them to always give their best. Many worked extremely hard from first light until after dark, sometimes seven days a week, however there was no rushing to be seen. There was no aggression, no raised voices, no stress. These calm people go about their productive day in their stride, always polite, happy and content because that is what they choose for themselves.

I googled some common Indonesian words and phrases before I left Australia, preparing myself not only for my own benefit, but to respectfully greet the Balinese. I wanted to show them I was willing to make an effort while residing on their unique isle. It was so much fun to say 'good morning' or 'thank you' or 'how are you?,' although I would sometimes become confused! However, the native people appreciated my greetings, always breaking out into a warm smile or laugh, while correcting my words or teaching me more. I miss that, and I adored the sound of the Indonesian language. Even some stall holders along the shopping strip of Seminyak, who were a little forward in attempting to entice me into their shops, would let out surprised giggles when I clumsily declined in their mother tongue. This often lead to a friendly conversation and I would continually greet them by name whenever I walked up the street. Even if they were busy with customers, they would turn, smile and joyfully wave, while calling out 'hello.'

There were many I had the pleasure of conversing with such as, a young, passionate bell boy, who dreams of working on a cruise ship once his apprenticeship is completed, or the lovely, petite, twenty-eight year old masseuse, with small, yet powerful hands, who yearns to marry and bear children, not yet having met the right man. There was Yuni, an attractive, diligent, single mum to a little, three year old girl. Yuni works in hospitality six days a week from late afternoon until three in the morning to support her family, grateful her loving parents are able to care for her daughter during those hours. She purposefully works the evening shift so she can be home to care for her child during most of the daytime, even though she is often exhausted. There was also a cheeky hotel gardener, who always seemed so pleased to see me after I initially stumbled over my words, attempting to wish him a happy day in Indonesian. From then on he laughed each time he saw me and again, his emanating smile spoke volumes.

I was familiar with the bartering concept of Bali, although I wasn't any good at it! These hard working people needed to make a living too, and if I could spare a couple of dollars, then why not help them to celebrate a successful day and grant them another reason to smile? The few items I bought were still cheaper than at home in Australia. Same with tipping. I was told the Balinese were extremely appreciative if they should receive a tip for their services, no matter how much or how little, however if this wasn't the case, that was fine too. They did not expect it. So I tipped here, there and everywhere! Not only was I enjoying a spectacular holiday, I was constantly sharing the love.

One of the most joyful and interesting hours I will treasure was during my second last day of my stay. My friends had departed Bali the previous morning to return home to Germany. I was fortunate to savour a couple more days to collect my thoughts and to digest this wonderful experience, which was sadly, fast approaching an end.

The girls and I would walk on the beach and bathe in the glorious surf each day, however we never hired a beach bed, always basing ourselves by the hotel pool. Imagining lying on a beach bed at the beach was way out of my comfort zone, as having grown up in Australia, I'd only ever laid on a towel on the sand. However, it was something I hadn't experienced, so I decided to try it. I didn't bother bartering over the price and while laughing at myself, proceeded to try and get comfortable on the thick, green mattress. I was quietly hoping no one was watching as I stood, awkwardly rearranging the head piece tilt and having to lie down to test it numerous times, while my already positioned, hotel beach towel kept blowing off centre with the gentle breeze. This did not feel right at all, however I persevered and was finally, 'reasonably' comfortable.

Soon after, while lying on my stomach I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a Balinese woman approaching. I'd forgotten about the beach sellers! She seemed so overly dressed for the heat and she carried what seemed like a million, assorted leather wrist bands and beaded necklaces. She promptly came over, sat beside me on the sand and plopped her goods onto the beach bed near my head, urging me to pick a few; 'Morning price, good price,' she insisted. I sat up to look at her craft and she suddenly started singing a made-up tune. After a few bars, she told me she loved to sing, as it made her happy. Her olive skinned face wore many interesting lines and she had the most beautiful, straight, white teeth. I was curious to know more about this middle aged, intriguing woman. Her broken English, no doubt learnt over many years on Bali's beaches, was easy to decipher.

She shared with me she lives in Denpasar and each morning she rides her bicycle one hour to reach the popular beaches of Seminyak, Legian or Kuta, where she strolls along all day selling her wholesale-bought trinkets to help earn her family's livelihood (then she started singing again). She continued after a short tune to say, depending on how busy her day eventuates, she will ride her bike home, sometimes at five, six, seven or even eight o'clock in the evening, to then cook dinner and wash for her family. I asked her, 'Why are you so covered up in this heat? You must be uncomfortably warm?,' and with that, she touched my hand and said, 'I like this skin.' I chuckled and smiled as I answered, 'And I like this skin,' returning the gesture. After another little, creative tune, she suddenly pulled a creased photo from her worn, coat pocket, and with a beaming smile explained the picture is of her son, daughter-in-law and her new, two month, precious grandson. It was such a joy to see the glowing pride on her face. I was so mesmerised by this endearing woman, I asked if I may take a photo of her. To this she suddenly struck a pose, waiting for my camera. Then up she stood, grabbed her bundle of merchandise, once again broke out into song, waved goodbye and went on her way.

I did buy a leather bracelet from this lady, whom I sadly cannot remember the name of, as it was so foreign to my ears. She returned regularly that day, sometimes with colleagues, to happily have a rest and a chat. At one stage she lay down next to my beach bed, placed her old, tattered, material bag (I wished I'd had a new one with me to gift her), onto the sand and used it as a pillow. Much to my surprise, there she lay with her eyes closed. I honestly believed she would fall sleep, however after a short while she was on the move once more, of course happily singing as she left!

This was the last time I saw her, as by late afternoon I'd decided to call it a day on the beach. I'd had a good go bonding with my beach bed to know I still preferred the familiar, old beach towel cushioned on top of the sand. Besides, the stunning sunset was about to commence and I needed to proceed to my usual prime position, up on the cafe roof top, I had become accustomed too. I quickly looked around for my new friend, as I wanted to say goodbye one last time, however sadly she was nowhere to be seen. I still continue to wear my leather, wrist band at home to fondly remember her and my adventures in Bali. I will surely meet her next trip, as I hear her distinctive voice calling, 'Morning price, good price!'

I look forward to sharing more of my unforgettable Bali memories...

The Magic Of Bali...

I've been home in South Gippsland's frosty, winter temperatures for almost two weeks, yet my thoughts continue to gravitate to the mesmerising island of Bali, Indonesia, which I visited after not having allowed myself a holiday, for various absurd reasons, in many years. I now realise how ludicrous that was.

Exiting Denpasar airport, I was so pleased my first contact abroad was with an enthusiastic, friendly, middle aged Balinese man named Ketut, who spoke quite good English while he drove to the hotel, which I had blindly and nervously booked on-line from home. It was nearly midnight and the traffic was apparently minimal during the hour long drive, however to me the roads seemed to be buzzing with life. I sensed this foreign place was somehow magical and I felt free and excited, wondering what was to come. As we approached the exquisite, lit up traditional Balinese accommodation, I already felt completely comfortable and 'at home'.

It was a lovely 27 degrees as I was shown to my spacious bungalow, which looked out onto green, luscious, maintained gardens lit up by symmetrical lanterns. I was excited and relieved, as I had also booked for two long-time German friends, whom I hadn't seen for some years and who were joining me in the next couple of days. Thankfully I had done well! So with that, my adventure commenced and with gratitude and an open heart and mind, I intended to wholeheartedly embrace and soak in as much of Bali as I possible could. I felt I was in another world, another lifetime and my soul infinitely sang with joy from the moment I stepped onto Indonesian soil.

I stayed in Seminyak (north-west of Bali), which portrayed a warm, calm, uplifting vibe during daylight. Toasty warm, regular temperatures of around 32 degrees and only swim suit or light clothing was needed. I swam in the ocean, in between pleasurable beach walks, and the inviting pool every day. Swimming was something of a memory, as I couldn't recall the last time I bathed in sea water or even wore bathers. I was in heaven!

The hustle and bustle of the narrow streets of Seminyak, were filled mainly with cars (manufactured narrower to suit Bali's roads), and electric scooters; some uniquely fun and creatively spray painted. There were no road rules. None! The speed was comfortably low and as each vehicle operator wished to overtake, or turn left or right, he gave a short toot of the horn to let commuters around him know he was about to change his stance. I found it to be organised chaos. There was no road rage, no anger or disrespect. It just seemed to work and I was told road accidents were minimal. Even stray dogs sometimes slept in the middle of streets during broad daylight, much to my initial horror, yet everyone detoured around them as if it were a usual occurrence.

I melted into the extraordinary, beautiful sunsets each evening. On the beach road I discovered a secluded, little rooftop above a cafe, where I found my front row seat overlooking a sea of brilliant, multicoloured umbrellas and beanbags. These were set up for the evening trade just in front of the hospitality venues, and reached half way down the surf beach towards the ocean. Right before sunset commenced, a Balinese acoustic guitarist and a singer would prepare for their nightly, three sets just short of the water's edge, perched on a large, wooden pallet to keep them and their equipment dry as the tide rolled slowly in during their gig. Their mood-fitting, soulful tunes sounded fantastic through their accompanying speakers and I seemed to feel every note in every emotional cell of my body.

By this time in the distance, the usually calm, relaxed beach came alive with joggers and teenage soccer players, people walking their leashed dogs (or groups of stray dogs joyfully running and socialising together), romantic strollers and children playing, while their happy voices echoed on the back of a gentle breeze. The soft winds soothed my warm skin as I sipped a cocktail and overlooked the vibrant surroundings; taking it all in and not quite believing I had finally permitted myself time out from my norm. Witnessing Bali's incredible sunsets, with ever-changing colors, as the backdrop to this tropical, spirited environment was indeed one of the highlights of my amazing holiday.

The beanbags quickly filled, mostly with tourists ready for a 'sunset drink'. The waft of delicious food filled the air too, which continually teased my taste buds. A few kites soared above, some cheeky drones drifted in the sky taking photos, and the local Balinese beach sellers would appear and approach any tourist who looked vaguely interested in their craft; often walking away after facing yet another rejection, however quite happy to move onto the next prospective buyer.

Suddenly luminous, colored lights would appear from all directions, as the nearby cafes, bars and restaurants prepared for the darkness. Beautiful, dancing lanterns flickered from huge, ancient trees, which stood proud, knowing the structures had been built around them. Fireworks would spasmodically light up above the beach, spraying more rainbows of colors into the already bright, lucent atmosphere. It was just so beautiful!

Each day I continually felt my worries melt away as I relaxed more and more. I was humbled and grateful for this stunning opportunity to visit this endearing part of the world, so close to home. Enjoying the adventure with two life-long German girlfriends proved to be the icing on the cake. We had much to catch up on and the many laughs we shared were priceless. I had intended, and did attempt, to assess and work through some personal imbalances, which I hoped to possibly see more clearly and objectively while away. However I was so continually drawn into, and in awe of, the present moment, I found that goal impossible. In hindsight, the way I feel post Bali, the concerns are insignificant anyway.

I look forward to sharing more of the magic of Bali in my next blog...  💗

 

Mid Life Madness

What is it about mid life that can turn people into deceptive, secretive and unattractive beings?

Are they waking one spontaneous day, overwhelmed by the sudden realisation of their ageing process, questioning their mortality? Do they suddenly experience fears of having regrets, of missing out, or of dying before all dreams and goals have been accomplished?

Are they perceiving family life, with all its responsibilities and pressures, not to be what they wished for after all, and would like nothing more than to run away into oblivion, searching for a second chance? Or have they followed their passion and accomplished their long term goals remarkably and admirably well, only to be confronted with stagnation once reaching their pinnacle.

Maybe their partner, whom they initially adored and who has walked beside them through thick and thin over many years, suddenly wears facial lines they hadn't noticed until now. They realise she/he has become a comfortable, familiar friend, completely dependable and supportive, yet where's the unpredictable physical and mental excitement gone? There's a staleness in the air. It doesn't cross their minds their loved ones may be perceiving them in the same way.

Suddenly life seems so short. They panic!

There is so much they wish to learn, to accomplish, to discover, to challenge them, to strive for and to succeed in; so may people they have yet to connect with, on whichever levels present. So many opportunities not to be missed, ignored or wasted. They must act now, before it's too late, before their ship has sailed.

They're feeling frustrated, discontented, wrestling with private thoughts of possible, various solutions. There are options, all is not lost. They could continue with the norm, without rocking their predictable, secure life (divorce is expensive), while adding some spice to keep them on their toes, stimulated and in anticipation of spontaneous, delicious, secret rendezvous. The attention of a younger, prettier woman or a sexy, young, fit man stroking their ego is attractively seductive and tempting. They would feel alive for the first time in a long while and the sex would be mind-blowing! Yes, they could have their cake and eat it too, no one would find out. They would be sure to be discreet… until it all explodes in their face – as it always eventually does.

Surely your loved one of many years is worth more than this example of disrespectful deception? Surely?!

(Not to mention the fact that in the heat of a passionate, careless moment, you may possibly bring your spouse home an extremely, unwanted gift, which will impact both your lives forever more).

This topic reminds me of my late father's words. He was a wise, humble man of simple, raw needs and minimal words, but when he spoke, you listened - really listened. He once told me he would never, ever jeopardise his many years of marriage to my mother for a bit of half hour fun with another woman. It just wasn't worth it! These words have been cemented in my head for over twenty years, and like my dad, are words I choose to live by. That's just me. I spoke my vows and I have since taken them seriously. I enjoy my sleep at night!

I believe toying with the above option to satisfy your personal needs and wants, only proves there is a major communication lapse within the relationship (or maybe you just don't realise for every action, there's a reaction). This sort of behaviour and thinking eradicates trust. Without trust there's no relationship to speak of. End of story.

I'm sure many individuals experience and stumble through confusing mid life questions. It's true, you reach the age of fifty years and wonder where the hell those years have gone, especially as you still think like a young person. I mean, how are you meant to think at fifty? More than half your life is over and who knows how many years are left in your contract? Friends younger than you have already sadly, suddenly passed.

You reminisce about the life you've chosen (or has sometimes chosen you), and the long, meandering road you've taken with your partner. So much history of diverse highs and lows, and all those amazing goals, which seemed like mountains to climb many years ago, have been successfully achieved. Through commitment, enthusiasm and plain old hard work, you've accomplished what you set out to do – as a well-oiled team. You can now sit back and reap the rewards of your labour.

But no, a soft, niggling voice inside, which becomes louder and louder, begins to question you over and over again. Am I truly where I am meant to be? Am I happy and content? Am I following my heart's desire? Am I speaking my truth? Does my spouse continue to satisfy me, or do I even still love her/him? Am I enjoying my work, my environment? Am I happy within myself, doing what I love? Do I even like and admire the person I am today?

These are significant questions to ponder over and ones which promote excellent conversation with your partner. Sharing and discussing these thoughts intermittently throughout your journey create informative, thought-provoking disclosure, whereby each party constantly knows where the other is at. If an issue arises, which needs addressing, jump on it early. Don't let it fester over years, causing silent resentment or even ill health to escalate. This way there are no surprises of waking up one morning to hear your husband announce he's leaving you for another woman or your wife doesn't love you anymore! Meaningful, emotionally-filled, raw intimate words keep you connected. Of course, this involves completely honest conversation, however if you're speaking with your partner, who is, after all, meant to be your best friend, then there shouldn't be problem!

If this isn't the case and you haven't spoken (really spoken), for a long while, find an appropriate time to be courageous anyway. You will feel a welcome weight lift from your shoulders, freeing you of negative emotional burdens. Your words may possibly inflict initial pain, however remaining silent with developing feelings of frustration or bitterness will only magnify the hurt. Once you reach a point of urgency, of no longer being able to keep quiet, words can turn nasty and explosive, which is just not necessary.

Be honest and by all means, listen to your heart and act on the prompts, as you remain respectful to the other person. Be empathetic, understanding and attempt to place yourselves in each other's shoes, even if just for a moment. Know life has a way of nudging you in particular directions if you're not 'listening'. It may seem overwhelming at the time, even heart-wrenching or devastating, and you may believe your nest is crumbling around you, however you're just not seeing what's around the corner and how pleasantly surprised you may be. Trust…

This quality exchange of authentic words could very well once again bring you closer together; seeing each other in a different light, in a pleasing, stimulating, new way. Hearing heart-felt thoughts spoken may astonish you, as you sadly realise you were oblivious to how the other was feeling. Regular communication is the key. Once you're both enlightened, possibly on the same page, may this be the first, loving day of the rest of your spring-cleaned marriage. You must always look after and nurture that which is important and valuable to you, otherwise it will eventually break to the point of no return.

However, whichever way life may unfold, always remember as one door closes, another one always opens.

Trust in life, trust in yourself, listen often and know, no matter what happens, you will be ok.