The Roller Coaster of Life

 It is written we typically progress through seven stages of our lives. These are noted as infancy, early childhood, middle childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood and later adulthood.

As I re-read the above words, I am somehow annoyed by their simple, uncompromising and blunt nature. To think of the many, colourful, chaotic shifts we endure or commemorate throughout our lives, these labels seem mere empty, cold words.

Life is one gruelling, dizzying, thrilling roller coaster of emotions. Gut-wrenching trials and tribulations, which can force us to our knees, have the power to change life in an instant. These occur either spontaneously flooring us from left field, or we take the initiatives ourselves to act on difficult, significant, life-changing decisions knowing in our hearts they are ultimately for the greater good.

Then there are the many triumphs, milestones and all the endless events in between, which offer joy, inspiration and cause to wholeheartedly celebrate. All is to be honoured on some level, even the despairing developments. Growth and transformation undeniably arise from the ashes of each experience.

According to Erikson's model of human development (one of many theories), infancy is recognised as the first couple of years after birth when a child is dependent, transitions into an active, inquisitive toddler and learns to speak. This stage, which promotes the most overall growth, is also where a sense of trust is formed.

During early childhood relationships and friendships are established. Healthy, functional connections depend greatly on the development of trust in infancy. Key aspects are independence verses dependence. Children learn to assert themselves, asking for their needs and wants to be met.

Middle childhood revolves around commencing school. Children learn to compare themselves with peers. Feelings of accomplishment or inferiority surface, hence self-esteem, or lack of, continues to form.

The adolescent stage is about developing a sense of self. This is also often referred to as the "identity crisis" period. It is a unique stretch of rapid physical and deep emotional changes. A confusing, uncomfortable, but also exciting time.

Early adulthood refers to our twenties where people begin to solidify their bonds and enter relationships or marriages. Studies or careers have begun and people move away from the nest.

Middle adulthood revolves around life's priorities one has chosen and established, such as raising a family and/or pursuing careers, often paying off a mortgage. Life is typically busy and time flies by. Before you know it, the fifties have arrived!

"Apparently" we have mastered life as we enter our fifties. Having been around half a century, we worry less about others opinions of us, while our self-acceptance, equanimity and contentment increases. Coming into our own and perhaps now freer of family obligations, our fifties allow us pockets of time and space to re-evaluate our existence. We've experienced a kaleidoscope of life's challenges and lessons and we are wiser. We know the drill, or do we?!

The time clock ticks louder. Our hearts break as we bury loved ones way before their time. By now marriages may have broken down, sometimes more than once, and life has changed directions. Numerous, pertinent questions arise, such as:

• What am I really about?

• Am I living the life I desire?

• Have I achieved that which I intended?

• What is it I am here to accomplish anyway?

• Am I making a meaningful contribution to the world?

• Am I fulfilled and happy?

The fifties can be confusing. Our bodies change, menopause may leave women with compromising residues and we perhaps feel a sense of urgency to assess our lives and create monumental changes, possibly well overdue. If we choose to listen, our hearts easily and promptly decipher the answers to our questions. It's our heads that predominantly get in the way of our personal truth.

However, after many interesting conversations with older folk, it seems once we enter our sixth decade confusion is typically replaced with a sweet sense of calm, confidence and clarity. While ageing may lead to various, undesirable physical issues, we tend to feel happier, content and generally more balanced than in previous years. We've sifted through our priorities, goals and dreams and confidently know how we wish to tackle our remaining senior years. Relinquishing old, limited identities we expand, become increasingly empowered and closer to our true selves. We learn not to sweat the small stuff.

At the end of the day, age is but a number. Whichever life stage you find yourself, choose wisely and embrace your selected path. Relish in the triumphs and realise the interwoven messiness, challenges and upheavals of life ultimately reward you with emotional strength, insight and personal growth. Have faith in yourself, always do your best, live life with integrity and act on your gut feelings. Do not allow fear to stand in your way. Remember, life is but a blink of an eye ...