My Happy Place ...

I reside and work predominantly on a beautiful, rural, cattle farm my husband and I purchased in 2002. I'm a born and bred city girl and through surprising circumstances, I quite suddenly found myself swapping a social/welfare career for complete serenity and solitude. Although the move was exciting and positively life-changing, it proved to be quite an extraordinary transition on many levels.

Initially I concentrated on cleaning up farm waste material, which had been cunningly hidden from view. I enthusiastically learnt such tasks as pulling down aged, rusty, fence wire, and by hand, replacing fence posts—all toward the improvement of our property. It was liberating dirtying my hands and I slept like a baby at night, satisfied with my physical achievements. I would be alone most days listening to the mesmerising and diverse sounds of nature, while a group of curious cattle would stand close by, supervising my every move. It was bizarre and completely unfamiliar to the lifestyle I was accustomed to. After nine months however, I began wishing the steers would join in on my one-sided conversations, as their big, beautiful, brown eyes were no longer quenching my social needs. The honeymoon was over and although I loved my country life, including all my precious, adopted, furry, family members, there was definitely something missing …and it didn't take too long to work out what that was.

All my adult life I had been employed in a service role, and to the best of my ability assisted people of all ages to heal and grow. This opportunity initially arose through a nursing capacity, later in the addictions arena. I worked for a Not For Profit Organisation for ten years, engaged in various, internal programs. My roles were challenging and fulfilling, yet often frustrating and at times also extremely heartbreaking. It was imperative I kept a regular health check on my mental and emotional barometer.

So here I was, suddenly immersed in the rawness of Mother Earth, happily soaking in the fresh, clean air, as the sun kissed my face. It was humbling and I was truly grateful, but was this now my purpose forever more; to nurture our land and animals? Would my life now consist of patching fences, making sure we stored sufficient fuel for our farm equipment and regularly turning the pump on to keep our cattle watered?

I contemplated this question for many months and suddenly one day it dawned on me, 'Yes, I was exactly where I was meant to be!'. I realised I had been granted the opportunity to recuperate from all the pain and suffering I had listened to for so many years, which had become my norm, day in, day out. My energy had constantly swayed between desperately wanting vulnerable, often broken, individuals to realise they matter, while keeping healthy, professional boundaries. It was an internal struggle at times, as I felt their debilitating pain. Perhaps then, this was my reward for having consistently and passionately chosen to assist others? A gift of solitude; being embraced by nature's peacefulness and healing. Once I acknowledged this new understanding to be true, I actually found it quite easy to savour each moment in nature by being mindfully present. However, the niggling feeling to help people and to promote positively continued.

After considering how I could possibly still have a voice for those who would choose to listen, while working our farm, I remembered how in the past I loved to pen my words. In fact, I lived and breathed writing throughout my younger years. My journal was my most trusted friend, which supported me through challenging, teenage years. I even tried my hand at writing poems! 'Maybe the vast internet would be a wonderful and appropriate venue to share my knowledge?', I thought.

I finally decided to start a blog. Not so much a running commentary, but a non-fiction story journal, documenting my experiences. It's perfect for me here on the farm! When I find the time, which is often in short bursts between necessary farm chores, I step into my own, authentic world. I feel time then stands still, yet in reality passes so quickly. I predominantly write about my personal encounters, ones people can surely relate to. As the words unfold the content magically falls into perspective and I gain an awareness of rhyme and reason. My focus is to promote a sense of 'journeying together', and to bring comfort, hope, growth and understanding through messages the reader perhaps recognises in his or her own life. Topics vary as significant experiences happen throughout my weeks. If my intuition tells me there is benefit in sharing my, often very personal, occurrences, I will happily do so.

These days my shoulders are a touch lighter and carry contrasting concerns, such as my fear of snakes and our fluff balls coming together, or our house water pump breaking down, which means we have no water! Worse still, the need for rain when drought happens. I think the thoughts of a farmer now, however I continue to want to make a difference in this beautiful world of ours, if only small. I still wish for those, who are lacking in self worth and direction, to find peace and self love. I believe low self esteem is the root cause of most of the issues we humans face. I most certainly advocate to look within and to listen in an attempt to live as true to ourselves as possible. I pray people discover what it is that makes their heart sing and find the courage to pursue it. Each day brings a new gift of learning and my daily goal is to grow a little more insightful than I was yesterday; to be a better person than I was yesterday ...and to write as often as I am able. There is once again a satisfying purpose to my otherwise busy lifestyle and with only a pen and paper or laptop needed, I am able to visit 'my happy place' whenever I wish to …and I am truly thankful for that.

'May you find your happy place too'.