Oh my goodness, I'm certainly being tested of my adopted spiritual truths again this week!
My stress levels have gone through the roof and I find myself struggling to keep afloat.
It all started two weeks ago, when my thoughtful, caring husband arrived home with a tiny four week old grey and white kitten he had come across in the middle of a main country road. The poor little thing had a bloody nose, was traumatised, petrified and shaking all over. I have no doubt someone had dumped her, and probably the rest of her siblings, which were nowhere to be found. For the life of me, I will never understand how anyone could physically proceed with this act! How they sleep at night, I will never know...
The first thing I did was give this little fluff ball some cat milk through a medicine pipette, I eventually found in my kitchen cupboard, after searching high and low. I knew I had one somewhere! The kitten swallowed the milk furiously, obviously extremely hungry. We made a warm, comfortable bed for her in a cat-carry cage after giving her love and attention, and there she slept for the next few hours, recuperating and finally feeling safe. Meanwhile, our nine month old ginger kitten, who has grown into a monstrous feline, was trying to work out what on earth was going on, and what was this foreign smell in his home?!
After losing our beautiful, eight year old cat to Cat Aids last year, we adopted Ginge at eight weeks and made sure he was de-sexed and fully vaccinated against FIV before letting him outside one month ago. We also lock him up at night to give him further protection, so he has minimal chance of coming into contact with any infected, stray cats. So far our plans have worked out well and Ginge happily applies to the drill. He has a cat door he uses during the day, and which is locked at dusk when he comes inside for his dinner.
So this new little kitten, which we have named Bluebell, is now eating four hourly solid meals, which she eagerly gulps down, and has already grown in size along with her confidence and cheekiness. The problem is, I cannot let her roam free in our home along side Ginge because it seems he wants to eat her! Yet, Bluebell is maturing quickly and does not, under any circumstances, like being locked up any more – and let's us know by her sizable lungs. Her squeals drive Ginge crazy (and us just quietly), so presently I've succumbed to locking myself up with her at regular intervals of the day, either in our office or bedroom, where she happily and contently plays. However I, of course, get nothing done in that time!
I despise the thought of Bluebell being locked away alone for any length of time. The nights are long enough, which she spends in our bathroom, transformed into her bedroom (we're using the en suite). The wet area now boasts cat toys, a cosy bed and the kitty litter tray, which Bluebell seemed to know all about from day one, (hence another reason why I believe she was dumped).
I also dislike Ginge being behind a closed door, puzzled why he has suddenly been given unreasonable boundaries to adhere to..... and this causes my stress to escalate. Ginge is our beautiful boy and I don't want him to have any reason to be jealous or to question my loyalty. I continue to shower him with all the love and adoration he deserves, if not more, to reassure him Bluebell is no threat. If only he would understand...
Even down the track, if our fury kids do become friends, Bluebell will not be allowed outside until she is de-sexed and fully vaccinated (four months to go). This again will prove to be problematic, as she will still need to be locked up while my husband and I are not home, so that she doesn't disappear through the cat door, which I'm sure she will mimic by observing Gingie.
To try and rectify the immediate problem, I purchased a guinea pig cage, where I place Bluebell in, while Ginge stalks the circumference, attempting his best to claw-poke Bluebell through the thin, metal bars with his paws. This has become a game between the two of them, although the boundaries are blurred and I question whether it's playfully acted out or not. Bluebell has become quite big for her boots, and although Ginge is about five times the size of her, she is beginning to fight back. She's become very brave and cheeky towards him!
I have held Bluebell in my hand or placed her next to me on the floor quite a few times, to let Ginge sniff her and to see if I can let Bluebell roam freely, in the hope Ginge would warm to her. However I have had to catch Ginge numerous times, as Bluebell has wanted to jump spontaneously (as kittens tend to do), and Ginge has attempted to dart at Bluebell on all of these occasions. Bluebell is just too small for me to let them come together. Ginge would injure her in a flash. I have also tried to play with both of them, while Bluebell is in the guinea pig cage, trying to connect them through a common goal. Sometimes I feel this works, but then Ginge suddenly becomes aggressive and when his beautiful, golden eyes transform into black marbles, my confidence dissipates.
I have no idea where to from here. I'm hoping, as it's only been two weeks, Ginge will become used to Bluebell and they will make the best of friends. I pray this will happen...
So, my spiritual truths of, 'Everything happens the way it's meant to', and 'Let go of what you can't control', 'Live in the moment' and 'Have faith and trust always' have been a little challenging, to say the least. However, this is a good lesson for me, as little Bluebell obviously entered our lives for a reason. I remind myself to take a few deep breaths often, as I feel my anxious, tight knotted stomach and shallow breathing dominate my peace, during this stressful process. I'm normally quite disciplined when it comes to remaining grounded, however when my fury children are involved, it's a whole other ball game. This curve ball has obviously been thrown at me for a reason and while I write this, I am reminded of yet another spiritual truth being, 'Struggles and challenges bring forth growth'. Well, let's see how much I can grow!
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