A Precious, Insightful Adventure....

As I sat comfortably with my eyes closed, palms facing upwards resting in my lap, I sank further and further into a beautiful, relaxed state, while listening to Leanda's gentle voice guiding me into a meditation. I heard the words, 'An adventure awaits', and then silence…..

I am standing in a glorious forest, among brilliant, ancient oak and maple trees, which are shedding their magnificent array of colored leaves, blanketing the ground in crimson and gold. Sunlight attempts to stream through the spaces between thick branches, and although some light succeeds in coming through, it's not enough to warm the woods or lift the moisture. There is a freshness in the air; a damp, earthy smell. I hear birds happily singing tunes and communicating with each other, while animals and insects, oblivious to my presence, are scurrying along their merry way. It feels like mid Autumn.

Suddenly I notice a little girl with dark pigtails approaching. She's so gorgeous! She's four years old (not sure how I know that, I just do), and she's wearing a red, woollen, knee length skirt, black tights and cute, black ankle boots, while her upper body is warmed by a dark jumper under a red and black, chequered coat. I can't help but notice her olive skinned face is lit up with a huge smile as she approaches; her beautiful brown eyes piercing straight into mine.

I feel she knows me well and isn't startled by my presence. She takes my hand and ushers me to join her, as her little legs start running, then skipping through the carpet of leaves, all the while squealing with delight. We continue on for a few moments, when she gently pulls my other hand near and grabs on. Now we're shuffling sideways around and around in a quick moving circle, dancing with the ground leaves and watching them spin. The cheeky little munchkin is now throwing her head back, laughing uncontrollably and completely trusting I won't allow her to fall. I shuffle a little faster, tighten my hand grip and she becomes airborne. Observing the pure joy she emanates melts my heart. In fact, she is joy. ….and it's true, I would never let her fall.

We slow down, then pause to regain our balance. Her chubby cheeks are rosier and her eyes are twinkling. She bends down and scoops up handfuls of leaves, throwing them in the air, giggling and laughing as she watches them raining down overhead. She seems to be predominantly amusing herself, yet is keen to share her experience by looking my way often, as if to say in wonder, 'Look at me! Isn't this fun?'

My time is up now. The little girl senses this and with acknowledgement, looks up with those mesmerising, deep, brown eyes. How I love her so. She pulls at the leg of my pants, asking I crouch down to her height. As I do, she places her comforting, young, agile arms around my neck and proceeds to squeeze me ever so tightly. Without words, as there are no words needed, she impresses upon me:

'I am you and you are me. Life is to be enjoyed. Please remember me often, as I am always here'.

She kisses my cheek, turns and skips away as quickly as she appeared, leaving me emotionally overflowing with love and gratitude. I open my eyes and return to my familiar room, aware of my physical surroundings and newly gained, precious insight.

Each moment I have felt overwhelmed since this meditation, due to placing habitual pressure on myself, instantly my adventure has sprung to mind. This beautiful visualisation immediately offers a sense of peace, and I am instantly grounded as I see, through my mind's eye, a little girl's cheeky wink!

'I pledge I will no longer ignore you, my little ray of sunshine'.

My Favorite Childhood Past Time

I have been prompted to share what it was that I loved to do as a child and today, while I went about my daily work, I spent hours reminiscing. There are many wonderful (and not so wonderful), memories that came up for me. Most were of happily spending time alone in my bedroom, entertaining myself in fun, imaginary worlds. I've also always loved to read ever since I can remember, and believe I owned just about every Enid Blyton publication there was. Each birthday and Christmas I could excitedly count on a new fairy tale or adventure to lose myself in, written by this creative children's author.

I adored listening to pop music I discovered through mainstream radio, which often statically sounded through a small radio/cassette player I had been given as a young child. I would enjoy listening to my favorite bands, such as The Bay City Rollers (anyone remember them?), and would sit for hours in solitude scrap booking any pictures of the band I could lay my hands on. However, if I am completely honest, 'eating' was my absolute favorite thing to do in the whole world!

At age five, I have a very distinctive memory of sitting on a large trunk at a train station, my legs dangling down the side, eating a home made sandwich my mother had packed for our trip. This trunk carried my whole family's physical existence. My parents, my two older brothers and I were embarking on a life-changing journey, which would lead us across the seas to our new home, Australia. We were catching a train within Germany to the harbour, where our ship awaited us, and mum had prepared some sandwiches in case anyone felt hungry along the way. We'd only just left home and were waiting for our train at the station when I was ready for a bite to eat!

Most of my initial childhood memories revolve around food. It seemed to play an important and useful tool while I was growing up. It didn't matter if it was savoury or sweet food. I loved the instant gratification eating gave me. It was my dearest friend when I was lonely, sad, angry, upset, confused, embarrassed or frightened. However, I also enjoyed devouring food when I was happy. Any reason was a good time to eat.

No other family member seemed to share this dysfunctional relationship and I still to this day wonder if I was born with the 'food gene' (as crazy as that may sound). No one in my family picked up on my food issues either. I guess, as I was always tall for my age, still growing and constantly active, I wasn't ever worryingly overweight until eventually at age sixteen when I did stop growing – and started expanding outwards. Then all the bingeing consequences suddenly caught up with me and as a teenager I found myself struggling to deal with hormonal changes, body image, self esteem, boys, bullying and weight gain. I would gather all those uncomfortable feelings and shove them into chocolate, or potato chips, or Vegemite toast and eat them up! This was my way of combating my issues, and it worked, until my mouth was once again empty. Needless to say, I entered into a vicious cycle, which became my nightmare and brought with it so much despair.

However, that was many years ago now. I grew up, realised my life was in my own hands and at some point took responsibility for my actions. I still enjoy food immensely and could probably still sit and eat all day (although I doubt my stomach would cope now), however I choose not to. Today I attempt to eat only when I'm hungry and as healthy a cuisine as possible, although sometimes I do indulge in little treats. No one's perfect!

Indeed, A Lovely Surprise…

I shuffled my Cat Wisdom Angel Cards, praying my beloved Oscar would communicate a personal message. Our Oscar was a stunning, light-ginger colored, eight year old feline, who passed over three years ago today, due to an unforeseeable illness. How vividly I remember the details and the pain of that emotional day, forever etched within my soul. I still love and miss him dearly, and although I have many adorable animals in my care, he will always remain my special boy.
 

I choose to shuffle the cards nine times, for nine cat lives, and this particular day was no different. I had nearly completed the shuffle, when the 'Surprise' card jumped out of the deck and landed on the floor at my feet. I instinctively knew this was my intended message. The accompanying booklet assured me I would soon receive a pleasant surprise. 'Mmmmm, I wonder?', I thought, feeling intrigued.

The last six months or so, I've been predominantly concentrating on farm and home tasks, as well as supporting loved ones to the best of my ability, who are courageously travelling down challenging roads on their journeys. These beautiful souls are completely inspiring and put life in its rightful perspective time and time again. Add taking care of my furry family members on a daily basis and before I know it, the moon has risen and another day draws to a close.
 

I am more than happy to be in this serving role, as it brings me great joy, yet my soul longs to fulfil passions, presently ignored, and ones which make my heart sing. I am reminded of this often through constant, various subtle, sometimes sledge-hammer style, signs. I don't believe it's to minimise or discard my daily ventures, but to 'let go' of my programmed thinking and to allow myself time to wholeheartedly embrace my core wishes, which at times almost scream at me to take notice.
 

You see, I am one to try and accomplish as much as possible today, as you never know what tomorrow will bring. That's all well and good, however, on a farm there is always something pressing to tend to. It's a never ending saga. This fact was a huge struggle for me to accept when I initially moved from the city, which had been my home for thirty-five years, to our farm in South Gippsland, leaving behind a full-time employment position, along with my independence. However, that's another story.
 

So, the signs have been constant to return to creative writing. Something I dearly love to lose myself in. I acknowledge each prompt, thank Spirit and file it to the back of my mind (my subjective to-do-list), promising to become proactive in the near future, yet of course, the near future is always one step away!

However, to my absolute delight, the surprise Oscar informed me of through the Wisdom Cards, came to fruition this week. Suddenly, via social media, Sound & Story, (a closed, unique group for those who love immersing self in their creativity), invited me to join. 'Wow, perfect!', I thought. I was overcome with emotion and knew Spirit was behind this unexpected offer to finally urge me to start writing again. I laughed out loud, thinking how clever Spirit is. If they can't convince me to consciously nourish myself with soul food, they will nudge me toward a wonderful, supportive and motivating group; one I am accountable to, as they know how reliable I am, (which, by the way, can personally prove to be quite detrimental at times!).

So, here I go….
 

Sound & Story has suggested members take a few moments to sit in nature, and using all senses to describe how it feels. I choose to take a walk on our beautiful farm.
 

The wind is howling today, and it's cold. It silences for a moment, portraying the calm before the storm, then sensing the build up to yet another ferocious peak, it pushes across the damp land, strong and determined, affecting each plant, each branch, each blade of grass and each bird in its way by forcing it off balance - myself included. There are no butterflies or bees to be seen, which usually, happily dance among my rose bushes. The tails of the many, stacked silage wraps are flapping uncontrollably, like a disorganised symphony of plastic matter, and my rescue horse's rug is noticeably annoying him, as it won't sit still like it's supposed to, usually hugging his aged body.
 

Suddenly the sun appears, as if having parted a grey curtain of cloud to curiously peak through for a sneaky look. As she does, a beautiful, golden aura of light blankets my environment, and the warmth I feel I liken to a soothing and warm hug. I welcome her, as the wind has such power over me, encompassing my entire being with uncomfortable restlessness. It has been this way ever since I can remember.

I sit down on damp paddock grass where a group of our beautiful, multi-cultural cattle presently roam, who together create a rainbow of divine, earth colors. They keep a safe distance, yet gaze curiously in my direction. I close my eyes, and as the sun strokes my face one last time, a gust of wind follows with an undeserving slap. I am rudely awakened from my imaginary bubble of comfort, but manage to keep my eyes closed. I fasten the neck of my coat and continue to listen to my surroundings. I am not cold.
 

Birds are intermittently singing, or maybe more so, warning each other to take care. I can hear the water, which we pump up from the Tarwin River, loud and with unstoppable force, as it pours out like a fire hydant into our concrete tank, feeding our livestock through smaller gravity fed troughs. In fact, every so often I feel a splash on my face, which the wind has scooped up and separated from its volume, on its undisturbed journey. The air is so wonderfully fresh and crisp, cooling my airways just enough to sting a little. It smells so different to the air my inner child remembers from my city existence.  

By now my breath is quiet and shallow, almost still. I am deeply relaxed among nature's perfect noise and upheaval of today, and completely in the present moment. My whole being is calm and my body has become light, even difficult to fully sense. I feel no matter what would happen next, it wouldn't phase me. It would just 'be'. I can't help but be filled with overflowing and humbling gratitude.
 

I now sense I am not alone and I realise a few brave steers have come closer, no doubt, in an attempt to satisfy their curiosity. I know if I move suddenly, I will scare them, which is the last thing I wish to do. I slowly open my eyes and to my delight, I am surrounded by ten or so cattle. All big, beautiful, dark eyes staring at me! The seat of my work pants is somewhat wet and I feel it's time to move. I slowly make my way to my feet, which is enough for most of the steers to edge backwards with uncertainty. Once I am standing, sadly they disperse in all directions. However, I need to understand they are not pets.

As I make my way back to the house, the sky darkens and releases a shower of liquid gold to once again cleanse the wind blown earth, but my heart is filled with sunshine and my step is light. It's time to put pen to paper…

So, here I am, seated once again in my beautiful, safe, magical room. Do I possess a flare for the written word? I'm not at all sure, however my soul is singing as I write, and that is all that matters. Assisting my inspiration is Leanda Michelle's lovely, wafting oil aroma, (which my youngest fluff ball obviously loves too, as she's curled up right beside me on the desk), and I'm deliciously savouring every moment. I feel Spirit with me, smiling, celebrating, clapping their hands. Mission accomplished, so to speak. How wonderful life is....
 

Suddenly a familiar feeling of panic engulfs me. So much time has lapsed! There is so much to do and I have only completed a fraction of my intended chores today.

'But you know what?', I remind myself, ' There's always tomorrow…'

Manifestation

In last week's blog, I pondered over how much control we actually have over our lives, if any at all, or whether we create a blue print as such, while still 'at home' in the spirit world, documenting our life lessons we wish to execute in our physical bodies and work through before we arrive….

Today I'm touching on the subject of manifestation and how, through this technique, we can perhaps make our wishes come true (there goes my theory about our lifetime possibly being preordained!!!)

In short, manifestation is all about setting an intention, focussing explicitly on your desired outcome, while believing, visualising and wholeheartedly feeling your wish has come into fruition.

I must admit, I have occasionally and successfully experimented with this technique and it didn't take long for my desires to manifest at all. However, three very significant events in my life have happened, which all arose from a passing thought, having no weight behind them what so ever. In fact, all three were, 'Wouldn't it be nice, but will never happen to me', kind of thoughts! Let me explain….. (By the way, I'm sure I have more of these examples up my sleeve, but these ones come to mind instantly).

Twenty-two years ago, after travelling and residing overseas for five or so years, I returned home to find a family member in the throws of a serious addiction. I won't go into all the ins and outs, however this family member consequently entered a rehabilitation unit.

I remember initially visiting my loved one in the rehab, and after a very short time, the thought occurred to me, 'I could easily see myself working in an institution such as this'. The following thought put the first thought immediately to bed, being, 'But I don't have enough credentials and these places are really hard to get into'. Nothing like shutting yourself down. I was always good at that – until I woke up!

Six months later, I successfully applied for a position in a detox centre established by an international not-for-profit organisation, planting the seed for what proved to be a thirteen year career in the addictions field. I did not see that coming at all!

A few years in, I again had a passing thought one day of, 'Wouldn't it be wonderful to drive a company car, but that would never happen to me, plus my position doesn't justify a vehicle anyway'. Well, another year on, I was given an opportunity, within the same organisation, to set up a new program, and yes, as the work was predominantly outreach, a company car was granted. I again never would have believed it….

However, probably the most significant event that has come into fruition, is I now live in the country, close to a beautiful beach. I grew up in the south eastern suburbs of Melbourne, and over most of my life, the thought of residing somewhere rural, near the sea was always enticing. I never actually cemented this desire into a goal, never worked towards it, and I honestly didn't think this would eventuate. However, low and behold, it just fell into place without any effort at all. My now husband, whom I met in Melbourne, was initially from the country and we eventually returned and now live in a beautiful environment with many furry children, whom we dearly love.

So, I'm really none the wiser.

Manifestation definitely works, as I mentioned. I've proven this technique to myself on numerous occasions. I religiously followed the guidelines by completely drowning myself into the outcome I was wanting, and my effort was rewarded by receiving my wish.

I remember one time I desperately wanted a particular person to call me, completely against the odds, and they did, not long after I applied the manifestation technique. Unfortunately, other examples escape me presently, however I know there were more. Yet, other times, infrequent, passing thoughts, loaded with insecurities, have somehow manifested as well, much to my delight.

So, again, maybe we do have that 'blue print' I have been speaking of. Maybe we actually record various life paths, still offering the desired life lessons, but through different circumstances/avenues, where we can then chose which ones we prefer to travel when in our physical body. I could have easily remained in Europe and married my then partner; the path being completely different to my life today! Did I subconsciously manifest my return home?

Maybe, our desires/wants are documented in the blueprint too, and by using the manifestation technique, we are able to enjoy them sooner, while my non-intentional manifestations were also inevitable and manifested themselves when the timing was right. There are so many 'maybes' and I guess we could go on and on, attempting to explore and seek the truth, turning every situation on its head and inside out!

I crossed paths with a lovely woman about fifteen years ago. Actually she was massaging me with her powerful, healing hands. We shared a fairly short, interesting chat about the spirit world and all the help and opportunities available and offered to us on a daily basis. The more we spoke, the more excited I became and was ready for a deep, intriguing conversation, as I adore hearing other peoples' opinions and beliefs about spirit. Suddenly her hands stopped their rhythmical movements across my back and I heard her voice profoundly say:

' In the past, I spent years delving into spiritual laws,

meditating and socialising only with spiritualist etc,.

and I suddenly decided I needed to live life here in the physical,

and be present in the physical as best I can,

as the spiritual laws can wait until I return home.

I'm here to live a physical life,

so why attempt to keep my head in the clouds?

I have so much to do here,

and an eternity of spiritual living ahead of me.

It can wait!'

That stopped me in my tracks at the time and I've never forgotten her words since.

Maybe (here I go again!), she has a point!…... 

 

Is Worrying Really Justifiable?

I write these words while my beautiful sister-in-law is under-going major twelve hour surgery, and I'm waiting with bated breath to hear of any news, trying to keep grounded and not get ahead of myself, as best I can. Easier said than done!

Jude is a middle-aged, lovely, warm soul with a heart bigger than Texas. Not only that, she leads the healthiest lifestyle of all the family, yet is the one courageously having to tackle serious health issues. This again forces me to pose the question I have pondered over all my life!

Why is it some (unlikely) people are confronted with such devastating, often simultaneous, numerous occurrences, while others seem to breeze through their 'colorful' journey, ducking and weaving, spared of overwhelming grief and trauma? I guess I'm speaking of the uncontrollable challenges, such as having a life threatening diagnoses thrown our way or experiencing a major car accident with infinite health consequences or fatalities, or having a child pass away suddenly. These sorts of experiences are confronting, heartbreaking and debilitating on physical and emotional levels, and ones you wouldn't wish upon anyone. It always seems to me the most beautiful, thoughtful, genuine people become victims to these heart-wrenching traumas.

So, is our life's journey mapped out before we are born into the physical? Do we really have much control over our lives? I have often read and heard from spiritualists over many years, together with our spirit guides, we discuss and implement a plan (a blue-print as such), where our desired life lessons we wish to experience for ourselves here on earth, are established before we arrive. This includes the people, who play a part within our lives, hence also simultaneously fulfilling their personal lessons.

As the Spirit world (our home) is apparently an environment of pure love, it would seem from a spiritual stance, deciding on our life lessons would be easy while 'sitting on a cloud, feeling blissful' (I don't mean to be facetious, just an exaggerated example). We would believe, as we can view the whole picture of our intended physicality from this stance, we would breeze through our personal challenges in the physical, knowing the outcome, which awaits us consists of insightful teachings and our soul returning home, as our shell is given back to the physical earth (school).

However, I would imagine, as it's (again apparently) only the physical that grants us the pleasure (and pain) of feeling emotions, assuming our intended lessons will be uncomplicated from a place of pure love, may give us quite a shock as we are actually confronted with our lessons while in our bodies, having limited, if any, memory of our home. Maybe this is why souls subconsciously sometimes decide it's just too overwhelming and opt out to return home. If emotions weren't in the picture, life would be black and white and difficulties much easier to bear…...but would prove to be a cold and heartless existence.

Maybe our lessons and how they are executed throughout our lives, are cemented within our 'blue print', and free-will comes into it by challenging us to react positively to our given circumstances. I mean, by focussing on attempting to stay grounded as best we can and to push through the pain, accepting and seeing the glass half full, causing us to successfully learn the insight, thus aiding us to move forward – until the next hurricane from left field presents itself for us to conquer!

An example of this might be a heart broken woman, who has allowed herself to spiral into a deep, dark hole of depression, due to her husband's betrayal. She's experienced all the various emotions and has become shackled to anger, hate and resentment, blocking herself from moving forward and possibly meeting a new, wonderful man. She may begin to self medicate, igniting an addiction. She may become physically ill, due to holding on to the negative, damaging emotions.

Ultimately this woman's lesson is to work through, learn from and overcome a situation of betrayal. Choosing to take the difficult (much longer) road or the more grounded route is entirely up to her, as both could ultimately lead to the same outcome – eventually (unless she becomes extremely ill, overdoses or loses her life, in extreme cases). Please forgive me for being so blunt, and of course staying grounded during heart-breaking happenings is absolutely gut-wrenchingly challenging. I've been there too...

So, maybe we really don't have any control over our significance such as, the color of our skin, where we reside, who we marry, which occupation we are destined for, how many children we bear, which day, month, year, time we pass over to return home and how this will occur, or suddenly losing a loved one etc., and all the subtle and sledge-hammer style challenges along the way. Maybe our journey is already preordained - by us.

I always worry over my animals on the farm. Once snake season commences, I carry a constant anxiety, always fearful of (what hasn't even happened) a pet succumbing to a snake bite. It's awful and I consciously realise how detrimental this is to my health and well-being, but I am unable to shake it off, no matter how much effort I put in! However, if I believe the above to be true, it is already written how my animals will eventually depart this earth! They live their journeys too! Should I accept, let go and trust all is happening as it should? I have no control, so what's the point of wasting time and energy over the inevitable?

Maybe we worry for no reason because what will be, will be…. Should we just go with the flow, focussing on being the best we can be at any given moment, 'knowing' all is well, and will always be well, no matter what happens? These are curious thoughts I ponder over often, which completely intrigue me....

Good news. I have just heard beautiful Judy has withstood her operation well and the doctors are extremely pleased with her : )

Again, did I even need to worry? …….. 

 

Waves Of Emotion...

Over these last couple of weeks, between my work and farm life, I've attempted to make the most of the televised Olympic games coverage. I'm so in awe of the talented, resilient, elite athletes, who have worked exceptionally hard, and no doubt, have made many sacrifices along their road to success. It's very inspiring…

Of course, I am nation proud and obviously want Australia to do well, however it's the individual efforts/stories of all Olympians, who have brought me to tears often throughout the games.

I can't even begin to imagine the blood, sweat and tears shed over the many years of training toward reaching such significant personal goals. I'm sure illnesses and injuries have had their place, as well as endless hours of (probably mundane), repetitiveness. Memories of inevitable highs and lows, amazingly strong commitments and keeping the aspired goals in sight, like dangling carrots, add to the determination and hunger of such successful sporting campaigns.

You could sense the overwhelming joy and pride of the athletes, as they entered the Rio venue during the open ceremony, each one honored and humbly grateful to be there; walking tall behind their country's flag and most probably pinching themselves often. Then, as the games began and the Olympians prepared for their individual sports, emotions and adrenalin ran high – as did mine!

I cried for the winners standing on the podium, often in disbelief, listening to their national anthem play through the humongous speakers. I cried for the athletes, who missed out on a win, bitterly disappointed and emotionally beating themselves up in the process; sadly feeling their self-worth decline, as if measured by their success. The added media circus unfortunately amplified their nation's expectations.

I cried for all the various success stories, celebrating with each participant from my lounge room. I also cried for the devastated athletes, whose nerves engulfed them, at a crucial point, from the sheer pressure of being an Olympian. You can learn to prepare for all aspects of a sport, however no one can teach you the overwhelm of an Olympic environment and audience, and knowing of the trillions of eyes focussed on you through technology; counting on you to do your country proud. What a huge, daunting cross to bear.

I cried for the coaches, families and the rest of the support groups of these extraordinary sportsmen and women, each barracking and wishing their star well, while walking along side them, ready to adhere to their every need.

I also cried mixed tears of emotions for the star Olympians, whose dreams had once again

come true for the fourth or fifth time during Olympic participation, and who were now ready to hang up their boots, taking with them infinite, precious memories.

Each and every athlete should be so extremely proud of themselves, regardless of personal outcome. To be an Olympian is already such an amazing accomplishment, encompassing and proudly acknowledging all those hard yards of pain, stamina and clear purpose. The raw waves of every emotion complete the picture, which of course, are exaggerated within Olympic conditions. I think you are all incredible and should celebrate your outstanding achievements, regardless of podium outcome or not, especially our Aussies.

Congratulations and well done xo

Instant Peace...

In one of my previous blogs, I mentioned I returned to yoga this year; once again pursuing the ancient spiritual science, incorporating mind, body and spirit.

Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self – The Bhagavad Gita.

Sounds pretty deep and insightful, doesn't it? And it is! It's an amazing process of stilling the natural upheaval of thoughts and restlessness of the body. Yoga is about going within.

Last time I actively pursued this practice, it was in a beautiful, suitable venue, close to the ocean. The atmosphere was serenely fitting, incorporating earth colors accentuated by dimmed lighting. Soft, but powerful repetitive music hummed in the background and the temperature of the room was just right.

Each week I would front up, ready to 'go within', and execute the yoga postures role modelled to the class as best I could. However, while I was balancing on one leg, or 'pretzeling' my body, my mind was busy planning my shopping list or guessing what time high tide was in the morning, and pondering over when would be a good time to turn the water pump on for the cattle troughs!

Nearing the end of the class, after I had usefully planned the following day, it was time for Savasana (corpse pose), which is a restorative pose consisting of lying down on the floor and relaxing your muscles. While Savasana requires no physical effort, it can be one of the most difficult yoga poses to master. 

 

'Students will find they either fall asleep, go into a dreamy state or otherwise find their mind thinking and planning for such mundane things as the grocery shopping, or worrying about work'.

Well, I'd already mentally completed my shopping list, so I skipped that bit and fell straight to sleep, (and upon waking, hoped I didn't embarrass myself by snoring). This happened every single week, however I found it to be a wonderful (guilt-free) rest; one I immensely enjoyed. The most uncomfortable part of the whole yoga experience was having to pick myself up off the floor at the end of each session and dragging myself home, especially during the cold South Gippsland winters…..

So five years on, I'm once again a keen participant of a yoga class; a different one, with a different teacher, and a somewhat different me. I actually do go 'within' now, as opposed to planning my shopping list. I do feel a stillness as I focus on my poses and imagine how my body, as a whole, is working its magic to create the particular postures. I even find myself in a subtle meditative state during my practice, or often I'm dizzy (in a good way), as I feel my body releasing pent up energies. By the time I'm walking (more like floating) out the door after a one and a half hour session, I always feel like I have just experienced a full-body massage, which is so nurturing and gratifying.

However the most profound simple act (one which I have always taken for granted), is my breath! Conscious breathing, taught within the yoga framework, is so powerful. Before each yoga pose, and sometimes at the completion, we start with our hands in prayer position, resting on our sternum, and focussing on our heart (centre) area. Through the nose, we breathe a few deep breaths in and out...and we are centred. In fact, 'we are centred immediately'. I find this astounding.

I now finally understand when, many times throughout my journey, I was encouraged to breathe during anxious times. It's our breath that transports us to the quiet place within (our centre), where time stands still and all is well. The ancient yogis taught that learning to control the breath can assist in regulating and calming the mind and that proper breathing enhances focus, concentration, relaxation, and energy.

So each time, as we go about our daily lives and feel off balance, anxious, upset, confused, nervous or even craving an unwanted addiction we have let go of, we can instantly become centred and brought back into 'the now', where there is no turbulence, no upheaval. All we need do is take some deep breaths, especially if we close our eyes and focus on our heart centre, and we immediately find peace, bringing ourselves back to the starting line, before the overwhelm. It's that simple!

So, I will continue on my enjoyable and inspiring yoga quest, reaping the many physical, mindful and spiritual benefits, while I will also remind myself to consciously breathe often as I go about my day, reducing mental noise of agitation, distractions and self-doubt.

I also need to continue to work on mastering the Savasana pose, as I still to this day find myself falling into a beautiful, deep sleep during the end phase of the yoga class.

This, I imagine, may take some time to perfect, as I'm not sure if I want to let my guilt-free nap go just yet. : )