I
reside and work predominantly on a beautiful, rural, cattle farm my
husband and I purchased in 2002. I'm a born and bred city girl and
through surprising circumstances, I quite suddenly found myself
swapping a social/welfare career for complete serenity and solitude.
Although the move was exciting and positively life-changing, it
proved to be quite an extraordinary transition on many levels.
Initially
I concentrated on cleaning up farm waste material, which had been
cunningly hidden from view. I enthusiastically learnt such tasks as
pulling down aged, rusty, fence wire, and by hand, replacing fence
posts—all toward the improvement of our property. It was liberating
dirtying my hands and I slept like a baby at night, satisfied with my
physical achievements.
I would be alone most days listening to the mesmerising and diverse
sounds of nature, while a group of curious cattle would stand close
by, supervising my every move. It was bizarre and completely
unfamiliar to the lifestyle I was accustomed to. After nine months
however, I began wishing the steers would join in on my one-sided
conversations, as their big, beautiful, brown eyes were no longer
quenching my social needs. The honeymoon was over and although I
loved my country life, including all my precious, adopted, furry,
family members, there was definitely something missing …and it
didn't take too long to work out what that was.
All
my adult life I had been employed in a service role, and to the best
of my ability assisted people of all ages to heal and grow. This
opportunity initially arose through a nursing capacity, later in the
addictions arena. I worked for a Not For Profit Organisation for ten
years, engaged in various, internal programs. My roles were
challenging and fulfilling, yet often frustrating and at times also
extremely heartbreaking. It was imperative I kept a regular health
check on my mental and emotional barometer.
So
here I was, suddenly immersed in the rawness of Mother Earth, happily
soaking in the fresh, clean air, as the sun kissed my face. It was
humbling and I was truly grateful, but was this now my purpose
forever more; to nurture our land and animals? Would my life now
consist of patching fences, making sure we stored sufficient fuel for
our farm equipment and regularly turning the pump on to keep our
cattle watered?
I
contemplated this question for many months and suddenly one day it
dawned on me, 'Yes, I was exactly where I was meant to be!'. I
realised I had been granted the opportunity to recuperate from all the pain and suffering I had listened to for so many years, which had
become my norm, day in, day out. My energy had constantly swayed
between desperately wanting vulnerable, often broken, individuals to
realise they matter, while keeping healthy, professional boundaries.
It was an internal struggle at times, as I felt their debilitating
pain. Perhaps then, this was my reward for having consistently and
passionately chosen to assist others? A gift of solitude; being
embraced by nature's peacefulness and healing. Once I acknowledged
this new understanding to be true, I actually found it quite easy to
savour each moment in nature by being mindfully present. However, the
niggling feeling to help people and to promote positively continued.
After
considering how I could possibly still have a voice for those who
would choose to listen, while working our farm, I remembered how in
the past I loved to pen my words. In fact, I lived and breathed
writing throughout my younger years. My journal was my most trusted
friend, which supported me through challenging, teenage years. I even
tried my hand at writing poems! 'Maybe the vast internet would be a
wonderful and appropriate venue to share my knowledge?', I thought.
I
finally decided to start a blog. Not so much a running commentary,
but a non-fiction story journal, documenting my experiences. It's
perfect for me here on the farm! When I find the time, which is often
in short bursts between necessary farm chores, I step into my own,
authentic world. I feel time then stands still, yet in reality passes
so quickly. I predominantly write about my personal encounters, ones
people can surely relate to. As the words unfold the content
magically falls into perspective and I gain an awareness of rhyme and
reason. My focus is to promote a sense of 'journeying together', and
to bring comfort, hope, growth and understanding through messages the
reader perhaps recognises in his or her own life. Topics vary as
significant experiences happen throughout my weeks. If my intuition
tells me there is benefit in sharing my, often very personal,
occurrences, I will happily do so.
These
days my shoulders are a touch lighter and carry contrasting concerns,
such as my fear of snakes and our fluff balls coming together, or our
house water pump breaking down, which means we have no water! Worse
still, the need for rain when drought happens. I think the thoughts
of a farmer now, however I continue to want to make a difference in
this beautiful world of ours, if only small. I still wish for those,
who are lacking in self worth and direction, to find peace and self
love. I believe low self esteem is the root cause of most of the
issues we humans face. I most certainly advocate to look within and
to listen in an attempt to live as true to ourselves as possible. I
pray people discover what it is that makes their heart sing and find
the courage to pursue it. Each day brings a new gift of learning and
my daily goal is to grow a little more insightful than I was
yesterday; to be a better person than I was yesterday ...and to write
as often as I am able. There is once again a satisfying purpose to my
otherwise busy lifestyle and with only a pen and paper or laptop needed, I am able to
visit 'my happy place' whenever I wish to …and I am truly thankful
for that.
'May
you find your happy place too'.
