A Timeless Mind....

I find it fascinating, the older I become, how increasingly clouded my perception is of younger peoples' ages. I sometimes think, when I am on the road, the driver in the vehicle behind me doesn't actually look old enough to own a car licence! Or not long ago I was in a high school gymnasium after school hours, trying to work out which switches turn on the lights I needed to prepare for a taekwon-do class. A young man happened to pass me in the corridor, whom I stopped and asked if he attended this school and possibly knew his way around the switch board? He nodded yes, as he found the appropriate lights, and then proceeded to let me know he taught in this school, with a puzzled look, questioning my comprehension. He had every right, as I honestly believed he was a student, which I quickly attempted to hide, feeling completely embarrassed that I even thought that!

I've often pondered over how quickly life happens. It doesn't seem that long ago I was celebrating my 21^st birthday, travelled and lived overseas, met the love of my life etc. So many memories, that seem like only yesterday, yet the years have flown by at great speed. The interesting thing is, my body may not bounce as well as it once did, however I still 'think' like I'm in my twenties, (hopefully with a little more wisdom thrown in)! I mean, how am I supposed to think in my forties? Or how should I think in my fifties, or even seventies? I've often wondered that!

I have nursed in aged care facilities in the past and have had the privilege of meeting some wonderful, elderly people, with whom I've shared many engrossing conversations. They graciously opened up and gave me a glimpse of their extraordinary lives. These people were fortunate to still have all their faculties about them, except their bodies had grown older at a quicker rate than their minds. Sadly, some were palliative, due to terminal illnesses, and I was honored to have the opportunity to care for them. Usually it was during the night shifts, when peace wasn't their friend, that I found more time to engage in meaningful conversations. Each person had amazing and interesting life journeys to tell and once they began to disclose, the age gap between us dissolved. We were just two people having a raw, philosophical conversation about life. It was very special.

I would sometimes embarrassingly observe how some care staff would talk to these people as if they were young children, almost belittling or talking down to them. I would make a point, in private, of suggesting to the staff member to imagine, for just a second, the roles were reversed and they were in the elderly person's shoes. How would they want to be treated? Aren't we all equal worth and deserve the same respect, regardless of age? As a matter of fact, these elderly souls have lived through so much more than us and can, no doubt, teach us a thing or two! We just need to take the time to listen.

So, if I am engaging with a group of young people, I wonder how they perceive me? Do they think I'm old and wouldn't understand 'their world'? Or rightly so, am I now classed as old within our community? I've realised I have no self concept of age. I'm just me! I don't know if I look old, or act old or how I portray myself to the outside world. However, it really has no importance anyway!

I'm just me and I am happy being 'just me', and I will endeavour to grow old gracefully, continuing with my 'twenties' thoughts. I have no desire to compete with anyone (but myself), nor do I wish to indulge in any available, physical (expensive) assistance to attempt to look younger than I am. I love my character lines, in fact I'm proud of them. They're a part of my journey and remind me every day of the wonderful times I have been privileged to experience. I am actually very thankful that I have made it to this age! Sadly, many haven't.

I am who I am and this sits comfortably with me, as I am unique.....just as you are.

 

 

A Beautiful Surprise....

                                                        
Close to a year and a half ago now, my husband and I were faced with the difficult and heart-breaking decision to have our beautiful, eight year old, ginger cat euthanized. Oscar was diagnosed with Cat Aids and after a few months, the dreaded time came to end his life before he suffered the pain of severe secondary illnesses. It was a horrible and sad time for us and we still miss him terribly.

However, on the first anniversary of Oscar's passing (coincidence? I don't believe so), a little ginger eight week old kitten found us. Although I wasn't quite ready to welcome a new cat into our lives, how could I resist this vulnerable, young animal that needed a safe and loving home? So we adopted 'Ginge' (Oscar's nick name) and he is now nearly five months old. This week, after having been fully vaccinated, he has started venturing outside and is enjoying every minute of discovering his new world! We love him to bits.

Monday night of this week my husband was away overnight with work and Ginge and I cuddled on the couch in the evening before retiring to bed. Ginge will come and sit on my bedside table, on my right, and wait until I am under the covers and have turned the bedside lamp off before, in the darkness, I feel his little foot steps walk over the doona to my feet, where he then makes himself comfortable for the duration of the night.

So, that night I climbed into bed and turned the lamp off, while Ginge was in his usual place on the bedside table. I then felt him come and lie down on the doona next to my waist and rib cage on my right side. A passing thought occurred to me that Oscar used to sleep in that very spot every night, as opposed to near my feet as Ginge does. I chuckled to myself that Oscar may have informed Ginge of this, as I have been silently asking Oscar to look out for Ginge and to show him the ropes of home and our farm if he is still around (in spirit).

So feeling the weight next to my body, I lifted my arm out from under the doona to stroke Ginge's beautiful coat - but Ginge wasn't there. I soon realised he was still sitting on the bedside table!

An amazingly, warm feeling immediately engulfed me. I knew in my heart, without a doubt, my Oscar was there, lying in his regular spot as he used to every night. I couldn't help but shed a mixture of a few happy and sad tears. I have experienced some wonderful, comforting signs from/about Oscar since his passing, and I have seen him many times over the last year and a half through my peripheral vision, however this experience was the most special.

Ginge then proceeded to step onto the doona and slowly made his way to my feet, where he happily settled, and I peacefully drifted off to sleep knowing I had the pleasure of both my babies to snuggle up with that night...

My unexpected visitor, Oscar : )

Finally....

Well, I'm finally jumping in!

I have wanted to start a blog for so very long and have always seemed to 'conveniently' find tasks that took priority and needed my urgent attention. Maybe I have been subconsciously putting this project on hold fearing no one would want to read what I had to say. I was also a little concerned that I may not be able to commit 100% (which I would hate to have happen), or thinking there were already so many blogs available to read, or worse still, doubting my own truths occasionally.
However, no more ifs and buts! My gut feeling is telling me to not waste another single moment, plus the idea of a blog makes my heart sing, which is such an amazing feeling. So after many months of contemplation, I'm finally taking the plunge...

I call myself  'The Stumbling Spiritualist' because that is exactly who I am. After countless, amazing, personal experiences in my life of a spiritual nature (which I would love to tell you about in future), and having read many esoteric books over the years, where each author seemed to portray exact or similar concepts, except in his/her own words, and having spoken with many spiritualists, I declared myself a spiritualist too. I cherish my personal proof and am in awe every day of the subtle (although sometimes sledge hammer style) messages I receive from Spirit.

So, when I say 'stumbling', I mean for example, I know in my heart love and insightful wisdom are what's most important in life, as this is all we take with us when we return 'home'. While I keep this knowing in the forefront of my mind on a daily basis, this thought occasionally tends to burst like a bubble into thin air when I am dealing with my dysfunctional family! Or have you heard the enlightened statement, 'Life is only an illusion'? Well, that seems to drain from my being as well when I have prepared a beautiful dinner and my husband, who promised to be home by a certain time, is two hours late. Or I know and value my body as my temple and I try so hard to nurture it with nourishing and healing food and exercise, but I sway off the healthy path (a lot actually) because I LOVE the taste of chocolate and how its instant gratification hugs my whole being.

I'm exaggerating a tad, however I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from. I stumble through life while attempting to be the best person I can be at any given moment. Sometimes my 'best bar' is raised higher than other times, however as long as I am doing my best, that is all that matters. And let's face it - we are human and humans aren't perfect. This lesson took me a long while to learn!

There are a number of reasons why I want to write this blog. Firstly, I love writing. It entices my creative juices (which I didn't realise I had), and it's such an enjoyable and productive interest.
However, my delight lies in the content I wish to share with you. My passion is to assist people to realise their full potential (mind included) and after having spent my professional working life in positions of Division 2 nursing, welfare/social work, I have seen many people struggle - mainly with themselves. More often than not, we are our own worst enemies and 'fear' is the underlying monster of most problematic issues, once the layers are peeled back.

Please know, I am not at all pretending I have all of life's answers, but I do feel I may be able to offer you some different perspectives around issues (through personal, professional and spiritual experience), which you may find helpful. Food for thought to say the least. I'm hoping you will be able to relate to my blog and take something constructive, positive and reassuring away with you......oh, and please keep an open mind.

Life is meant to be wonderful, inspiring and filled with joy. This is our purpose!

I am a humble, middle aged, happily (most of the time :) ) married fellow student of this wonderful, frustrating, confusing, sad, challenging and amazing journey we call life.....and we are as special as each other.

Thank you for stopping by.

Yours truly,

The Stumbling Spiritualist xo